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In an alternate universe, Joe Mauer and Kirby Puckett are buddy cops who also play baseball. It'd be a cop-by-day-baseball-by-night kind of thing. They would crush opposing pitching with the same ease that it would take them to insert witty back-and-forth while Mirandizing suspects, wearing catchers masks and improbably scaling walls. They would also be wearing the Minnesota Twins watch from Modify. The reality series documenting this relationship would air 24 hours a day on a dedicated channel, and the world would be an amazing place. Not to fear, alternate universe devotee, at least the Twins' watch exists.
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