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Boston Red Sox
Here's an equation to numerically quantify the current mood in Red Sox Nation: Take 86 years of disappointment, multiply it by the elation of Carlton Fisk's 1975 foul pole dodging home run, and divide that number by the factor of a Bucky Dent. You're left with X (which, somehow, equals 54). Now, take X and raise it to the power of the 2004 ALCS comeback. Then multiply that number by the number of David Ortiz homeruns since 2003, which is 373. You should be somewhere near 7,421. So, take 7,421 and multiply that figure by the exponential emotional value of winning three World Series in a nine-year span. (Waiting on your calculation…) You should come up with either ∞, Big Papi's jersey number or this watch.
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