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Pittsburgh Pirates

Here's a piece of information that will make you sound very smart at a dinner party: Andrew McCutchen's hair does grow out of his head, but it's composed of finely spun silk, gold thread and pure, unadulterated black-and-yellow It Factor. If he ever cut it, the floor onto which it fell would immediately begin sprouting flashy smiles and diving catches. It would then break into a perfectly on tune version of "We Are Family," before finally turning into the Modify Pittsburgh Pirates watch.


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